Friday, May 28, 2010

Overwhelmed by His Love

Sometimes I feel passive in my walk with the Lord. It's as if the spark that was burning was reduced to embers--mere remnants of what once was, with not much hope for them to burst again into flames. A sad, sweet sort of memory, that you long towards, but don't know how to re-alight. One that lingers in the air and tempts you, but it's as if it's become the very smoke--beautiful, changing, yet unattainable.

And then there are times when I feel so passionate. When my entire being is caught up in longing and aching. Where I'll cry just out of the enormity of it all. Looking at how minuscule we are, and how great our sins are, you just feel like garbage. Dirty, stained and broken. As if there is no way for redemption.

In the times where I feel like I want to crawl into a hole because I'm so disgusted and disappointed and engulfed by the weight of sin--in the times where I cannot find my worth--in the times where I am down, beaten and out...that's when I need to cling to Jesus.

When I cling to Him, there's such a peace. There's such an overwhelming, beautiful, consuming love that  just surrounds me. I become caught up in this marvelous, amazing, breathtaking love of my Savior.

And there's forgiveness. To know that no matter what I've done, no matter how great my sin, no matter how impure and putrid I am, if I come to Jesus and ask Him to forgive me, then I'm white as snow again. My sins cannot mark me--they cannot stain me--they cannot change me. They cannot tell me that I am someone whom I'm not. They cannot name me. Only Jesus has that power.

For in God, I am a new creation. A new creation that is totally, deeply, and passionately in love with my God.

And I'm definitely okay with that.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

My summer lists

14 Things to Do This Summer
1. Stretch daily. (or at least try to)
2. Finish up my school before August, so I have a month to enjoy myself.
3. Grill burgers.
4. Jump in the lake with no hesitation.
5. Sketch daily. (really adamant on this one.)
6. Hold a lemonade stand, a bake sale, or something of the sort.
7. Get together with people I love and laugh with them. (okay...kinda cheated with this one, considering it's something I do pretty much everyday.)
8. Plan out my school for next year (this is actually fun for me.)
9. Read my bible every single morning for the whole summer.
10. Let my nails grow out before I rip them off.
11. Go a week drinking only water (and milk.)
12. Use my camera every day, even if I only take one picture.
13. Pray James 1:19 for myself. "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;"
14. Spend a day with no media (excepting my camera.)
I've got a lot of things I want to do this summer, and a lot of things I should do. Mixed into that are vacations, ballet, my design business, and all that. There's so much to accomplish and do that it seems like there isn't enough time to adequately complete them all. To the left is a list of my so-called goals for the summer. What I plan to do in order to strengthen myself spiritually, health-wise, mentally, and physically. Some span the whole summer--some only a day. But I'm going to try to do them, and I'll let you know how it works out.

With goals, resolutions and whatnot, they usually aren't accomplished. It seems that with our aspirations, we are content to lay in mediocrity for partially finishing, instead of shining and barreling through the finish line. This time however, I will not settle for less than better. It's a choice to follow past experiences, or to blaze a new trail. And in this instance, I want to achieve what I've set out to do. Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us...(Hebrews 12:1)

I will accomplish these goals...especially with all of you wonderful bloggers who now know of them. That's part of the beauty of blogging--you can uphold me to what I've started out to do. (so far so good with my cake resolution...)


Along with what I want to do, here's another list of what I will do.

This summer, I'm going to...

Run through the sprinkler while holding hands with Brennan and Grace, and jump over it, laughing.

Eat Freezie-Pops and see who "wins" with the most liquid left.

Color maps on the driveway with sidewalk chalk with Brennan.

Cross my fingers and hope that we'll have raspberries to pick from our bushes.

Finish up my school real quick.
Sit on the deck and lounge in the chairs, and enjoy the sun and heat (and humidity).

Take a thousand pictures and then some.

Go swimming and laugh as I break apart the water, making a splash.

Get up early and have some quiet time with my Savior.

Sing loud and long.

Perfect my splits on both sides.

Watch sunrises and sunsets with a bowl of popcorn at my side.

Bike to DQ with some of my friends.

Camp in the backyard with a tent and stay up all night laughing.

Make some orange jello that actually works.

Fall asleep outside in the grass.

Chase Eli around the yard, catch him, and then tickle him.

Watch Sam play in the grass.

Slather on sunscreen so my skin won't burn.

Celebrate my 14th Birthday.

Go shopping for Woodland, making sure to get everyone's cereal.

Mow the lawn without stopping once.

Stop procrastinating and finally start working on my story.

Stuff myself with watermelon.

Praise Jesus.

Monday, May 24, 2010

I'm a sucker for his pleas (or "please" for that matter)...Miscellany Monday!

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters
As always, head over and join! Carissa's got a rocking blog! :-)

1. I'm a sucker for my brother, Caleb's, pleas (and his "please"es) for me to read him a story. I'll go and put him to bed with absolutely no intention to read him a book, but somehow...I always end up reading one*. And lately, I've been letting him choose. Yes, he may choose the biggest, thickest, longest book ever, but he really wants it. And he loves it when I say, "Okay, Caleb, we'll read it." (I really should be going, "Okay, Caleb, you win again, with your oh-so-cute-face and pleading smiles." How could I resist?) So if that means reading the big John Deere Lift the Flaps book, then so be it.
*I can safely say it's about 99.9% percent of the time that I read him one.


That little stinker would NOT stay still for even a moment.

2. Speaking of reading, I hate lift-the-flap books. The flaps get stuck, the book gets longer, there's that fear that you missed one...yadda yadda yadda. Can I just get an amen here?

3. For those of you who have been following me for a bit, you'll know that the last time I was going to sing in church, I ended up losing my voice. (see here and here). Well, not this time, baby! My good friend Seth and I sang Take my Life on Sunday, and we had a blast. Soli Deo Gloria!

4. My mom has this old film SLR (was that redundant?) and I've been playing with it. Going around and goofing with the lens (LOVE being able to do it myself) and all that. There's no film OR batteries in it...but it's been kinda fun. Just "practicing," we'll say. I think she's buying some film/batteries soon though, and then I'll be taking pictures and getting them on a CD so I can put them up. But for now, I can be content with my point-and-shoot. It's all good. :-)


5. Okay, are any of you a weird mix of late night, early morning risers? Cuz I stay up late and then get up at 5:50. Yikers. Please tell me that's normal...I can't sleep in for a few reasons. One, I feel like I'm wasting my day, and two, my body has trouble staying asleep after eight. (also, three, I like getting up early so I can check out all of your blogs!)

6. I love this guy and thank Jesus that he's my brother. No more words needed.


Okay, a FEW more words needed. I thank God for ALL of my family! :-)

Friday, May 21, 2010

Sometimes I wish...

Sometimes I wish that I was blond, blue-eyed and gorgeous
But then I remember that I'm a brown-haired, blue-eyed girl who is beautiful in God's eyes.

Sometimes I wish that I had a mac
But then I remember how blessed I am to have been able to buy my first laptop.

Sometimes I wish that I could write like Tolkien or Hale or Lewis
But then I remember that I can write like me, and I like that.

Sometimes I wish that I was more of a girly girl
But then I remember that I like just throwing on a t-shirt and some jeans and going through my day.

Sometimes I wish that I could draw better
But then I remember that I can, if I decide to practice.

Sometimes I wish that I had a DSLR camera
But then I remember when I didn't have a camera at all.

Sometimes I wish that I was smarter
But then I remember that however smart I am, it doesn't define me.
 
Sometimes I wish I could make a difference
But then I remember that the small things count

Sometimes I wish that I were a better athlete
But then I remember that I don't want to be an athlete when I grow up

Sometimes I wish I had photoshop CS5
But then I remember when I didn't even have an image-editing program.

Sometimes I wish that I had a deeper faith
But then I remember that it's a journey, and I can just keep following His path.

Sometimes I wish that I had nice nails
But then I remember that I don't care if they're painted or not.

Sometimes I wish that I was a health-freak
But then I remember that it's okay to like other foods.

Sometimes I wish that I was skinnier
But then I remember that my weight, too, does not define me.

Sometimes I wish that I knew more HTML and CSS
But then I remember how a few years ago, I knew none.

Sometimes I wish that I was more popular
But then I remember that I don't need any of those games if I've got Jesus.

Sometimes I wish that I was stronger
But then I remember that I'm still growing spiritually.

Sometimes I wish that I knew more about pop culture today
But then I remember that I don't really care.

Sometimes I wish that I was a different person
But then I remember that I was lovingly and uniquely created by the God of the universe.

Sometimes I wish...But then I remember.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Someday I'm gonna fly...



How often is it that we just want to be at the destination? I know that in my own life, I've found that the journey is the hardest part. Not necessarily because of the unwillingness to move forward, but more so because of the fear of the unknown, coupled with the loathing of waiting.

I don't like waiting. It is, in the essence, something that I've found to be frustrating and cumbersome. It seems to loom over me and I'm powerless to do anything about it...because I'm still waiting.

I can push it away, I can pretend it's not true, but in all honesty, waiting is something that is healthy for us.

If we were to receive everything we wanted immediately, or to be able to do everything we wanted to at that moment, or able to experience absolutely everything we wanted to, whenever we wanted to, then life would not be enjoyable anymore. It would have no meaning. Waiting teaches us patience, and it also helps us to grow in gratefulness. I waited two years until I was able to buy my laptop. Two years of earning, saving, and frustration. There were so many times when I wanted to throw up my hands and give up. There were so many moments where I would exclaim, upset, that I would never get it.

And then, when I could have purchased it, there were some situations that contrived to make it so I had to wait longer. And it was hard. But out of that waiting came good. I'm not going to go into details, but I ended up getting an incredible deal on my laptop and software, which I wouldn't have gotten had I not waited. I remember driving to get my computer, that old phrase, "Good things come to those who wait" just ran through my head over and over again, and I couldn't wipe the grin off my face for anyone.

The easiest part is after you've gotten to the point where you don't have to wait anymore. The hardest part is where you still do. Looking back on it, it all seems worth it, but in the thick of it...it's hard.

As humans, our natural tendencies are not to wait. For one example, think of fast-food. It's fast and immediate satisfaction...but it's nothing special. It doesn't hold any thrill or splendor. It's simply there, and gone. We consume it, and then forget about it. When we don't wait, we lose some of that joy.

I've been pondering the truth of this verse lately...

Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. Genesis 12:1-2

In all instances, the Lord is telling Abraham what He's going to do. He's going to show him a new land, make a great nation out of him, and bless him, so that He'll be a blessing. But He's saying, "I will." Not, "here you go! It's yours!" But, "It's going to happen. I can promise you that. But not right away. You're just going to have to wait."

It's so hard for me to accept that. I have to wait. That's the bottom line. It's really difficult, because I feel limited by some things in my life and I cannot change them at the moment. There's a peace that comes in accepting God's truths, and I'm really trying to find that peace. It's a process--a journey. It's not instantaneous. Even though I'd like to have it that way, it's not. And I just have to accept it.

But I also have to realize that life is good. I'm so blessed and, you know what? Life is sweet. If I get caught inside the mindset of always waiting, I'm not going to enjoy where I am right now. There's a balance to it all, and that's what I intend to find.

I'm going to enjoy today and then someday...I'm gonna fly.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Your blog + A custom theme song = You can win it!

Music often can summarize our emotions in a moment, helping us to pinpoint what we are feeling and what to do about it. It's only fair to say that music is a big part of my life. I've grown up in a very musical family, and I sing and play piano. I love music, for it often tells a story where words fail. There have been many a moment when I have lost touch with reality in order to fully attune my ear to the ephemeral world of music.

With that said...you could win your blog's own theme song. Think how incredible that would be! To go onto your blog and to hear your song, made custom for you, unique and beautiful and reflective of your thoughts. The place where nothing but notes can capture our meanings--that's what you could have!

The very talented Jared Kraft, (brother to the amazing Abigail, and son of equally awesome Lynnette) has started a blog theme song business, and to kick it off...he's giving a two minute long theme song away on Lynnette's blog! Valued at a low introductory rate of $65, this is something that will complete your blog.




Photobucket

Monday, May 17, 2010

It's time for another Miscellany Monday...hopefully, I'll be better this week.



Join in for this week of Miscellany Monday, friends of mine! Ready yourself for the random! (like my alliteration??)

1. I'm in the process of coding up my website (planning ahead, baby). Wanna a little screenshot?? It's probably not gonna be the "finished" design, but I've just been playing with the HTML/CSS. I've got some ideas...I'm either going to go web 2.0, vintage/retro, or hand-drawn style. D'ya want one of these for your blog? Then head over here to be entered into a giveaway for my DELUXE blog design!


2. Wanna see me dance...to some degree?? I thought I'd share a little video of me doing random ballet stuff with you all...just a random one. I'm really doing it that fast...yup. I'm just that good.


3. I am not an animal person. Let me just get that across. It's not that I'm neccessarily afraid of them, or disgusted by them, it's just I don't really care for them. No offense, cute little puppies (however, much offense to you CATS--thanks much for the allergies).

4. There is something seriously wrong with orange jello. At least the kind I had. I slept over at one of my good friends house last Friday, and she made orange jello for me. (Because we have this joke that orange jello, and lutefisk and casseroles are the Minnesotan food.) Sadly it turned out...horribly wrong. She put it in the fridge the day before, and when I came over on Friday (around 4ish), it still wasn't hard. We ate a bit and then turned the already dissolving mush into goop. (and just to be us, we put parsley on the top and stuck it in the freezer.)

5. And speaking of the sleepover...my friend and I were talking about how people (almost) always end their phone calls with "Okay" or "Alright." And sometimes they'll go (I'm victim of this too), "Okay, alright, okay, bye." It's as if we're trying to shut the other person up. o.O Not that I would ever do something like that...

6. Without my contacts, I'm as blind as a bat. True story.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

What I see...

We were driving home from ballet and I had brought my camera along. I was just idly snapping pictures as the world blurred around us. Chloe said, "Look at the sky!" so I clicked.

And that's why I'm an artist. Because I see beauty everywhere--beauty that Jesus has blessed us with. I aspire to celebrate that beauty in any way that I, being a sinful, fumbling human being can. Not because I'm special, but because He is.

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1st Peter 4:11

And as an artist, I need to remember that all the praise and the glory goes to Jesus. If anything I write, or say, or photograph, inspires, encourages, or makes you laugh...it's all Him. I just got to be the vessel used--and that's pretty cool. :-)

Good night, friends of mine; have a lovely tomorrow! Remember to take a moment and enjoy what's around you...and smile a little bit. If you look around, you'll see that we are so incredibly blessed. :-)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Am I an artist?...I'm going to have to say, YES. (and a giveaway!)

Was there ever really any doubt of my being an artist? From the earliest point on, I have loved creating, and have created. When I was younger, I was a big ham. By big, I mean huge. There's this super embarrassing video (yet uber cute) of me when I was little, singing "Down to the River to Pray" in an over-dramatic way, and trying not to laugh. It'll surface someday. Hey! I was about...six?

Art was is a way for me to express myself. I sang a lot. In fact, I still do. I belt out songs throughout the day and sing so loud and long that my dad once said to me, "Sweetie, sweetie, there are people sleeping in the next state." But do I stop? Nooo...Maybe I'm a little quieter, but not for long. I can't not sing. Just as I can't not write, or draw, or dance, or take pictures, or laugh. It's in my core. It's part of who I am.

And if you want proof of my artistic genius, check out these pics!



Oh, yeah, I was first class, baby. See that first prize ribbon on the bottom right side? Yup. I drew it. So humble, I am. And look at that NICOE. Mhm...something's not quite right there. Like my foreshortening on the car? Oh, I was goood. HA!



Yeah. That's me. With the eight billion colored bindies on my arms (I thought this was cool and wore them allll the time). Hair in my face--as usual. Proudly displaying my weapon of choice....Chalk.

Alright, alright...maybe I wasn't that great, but I was just barely six. Besides...I wanted an excuse to share these cute pics with you! My mom dug them out while looking for pictures for Chloe. Oh, I'm good. Right?

And who DOESN'T want to see pictures of bloggers when they're little? I mean, it's like ultimate adorableness/funniness...and can be, the most embarrasingest. (what? that's not a word?! Well, it should be!)

And who doesn't want a square car?! Or bindies on their arms, for that matter...
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And just so you know, there's a giveaway for my DELUXE blog design package on Barbie's blog...and you could win it! Head over here and enter!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Miscellany Monday! Carissa's Meme...join!




I'm joining Miscellany Monday, hosted by that good 'ol awesome Carissa. :-)

 1. I've seriously been considering selling my old ipod to garner more money for that Canon Rebel Xti that I'm saving for. Considering. I don't think it would bring in a good buck, considering it's one of the older kinds. (least its not super bulky...)

2. I have a terrible problem with charging my camera battery. It's a terrible problem. I always forget to take it out and charge it...and then it dies on me! They should make a camera that doesn't need charging. That or a stun-gun to get people like me charging their cameras...

3. Speaking of pictures...(which is pretty much all I've been speaking of)...look at these pictures I got of my mom! She already put them on her blog in a previous post, but I had to share them with you. Grill Woman...taming the flames! It was so windy that day and we decided to have hamburger's for lunch...look at her go!

4. Okay. I admit it. I browse canon.com, amazon and the like looking at cameras. Not because I can buy them...but because I want one. Not a good idea. And it's not likely I'll be getting the $900 one. Nope. Not on my budget.

5. And I had to end with this picture of me...not because it's a good one (more like blech) but I love the colors.

My Miscellany Monday was more like Five Random Camera-related Things! Ha! Maybe next week I'll be better...

Head over to Lowercase Letters and join! :-)

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!

To my dear sweet Momma.

I love your laugh. I love how you have such joy in life. And I love how you are silly with us—and not afraid to be so. Funkytown shall remain forever grateful for your part in it.

Momma, I love how you know exactly what to say in hard times. I love your hugs and words as you console me. I love how you embrace the hardships and turn them into something good.

I love that you love God. And I love how you love us, and Daddy. I love your smile and the games you play with us. I love your strawberry shortcake. 

I love that you buy lindt chocolates for me when I'm feeling down, and fiber one bars for after dance. I love that you play games with us--like blink and cheat on your neighbor. I love that silly part of you that doesn't want pictures taken of yourself...even though you are beautiful.

Happy Mother’s Day. Thanks for being my Mom. God has really blessed me with you...

...Momma, I love you.

My name is Hannah...and I'm okay with that

Funny title? Maybe. But it's something I've come to realize lately. Something that in my own life, I've begun to find out that it's okay.

There is so much pressure put on a person to be original. And then there is a magnitude of other factors thrown into the mix. You have to be smart, being beautiful is a good idea, you might want to be talented if you have the time, and creativity is in order. Coupled with all of this, originality seems to be far, few and in between.

I may admire someone's writing style--I may love another's photography genius. I may be entranced by someone's posting-patterns and love their way of words. The list goes on and on. And soon, I can try to do it the way they do. I can change how I post, how I write, how I photograph, draw, speak, etc., in order to be like that person. But even if I tried my hardest, even if I spent countless hours of time in changing myself to be that person, it wouldn't work. Because in the end, that person is them. And I’m me.

We may share similarities. We could have the same quirks. Maybe our styles are even alike. But if I try to become the person whom I admire, then I become false. Hollow. There is no way for me to find out who my God-give self is and embrace it if I'm trying to conform to another person's character.

The journey of self-discovery is one that every person will end up taking. Some in a roundabout way, others more straightforward, and then some in between. But our person--the real person that we have been formed to be--that person is found in God.

It's something that I've begun to find has been present in my life. My identity is only rooted when in Christ. And in Him, I can truly begin to find out who I am and who I was made to be.

There is a blessed freedom in knowing that God held me in His hands and tenderly and lovingly created me. There is a peace that comes with finally grasping that Jesus has a plan for me.

Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

I will praise my God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

There is a point when we think we have it all figured out--when we imagine that we've truly found ourselves. But I've found that I've been hiding. I've been waiting for God to show me who I am, instead of actively searching and looking in Him to find it. 



I love this video because it really shows what I, in my fumbling words, am trying to say. God has created me with a path, and a purpose, and I was created with love. I was created as God's masterpiece. But I cannot be someone else. And I cannot hold onto something that will hinder me. It's a conscious decision of instead of trying to mold myself, to let God mold me.

I cannot see myself as God does. The only way to begin to glimpse my God-given self is by letting go of the things of this earth and start holding onto Jesus. In Him, I can find who I truly am and embrace that person.

I may not be the smartest, most talented, the prettiest, skinniest, most creative, wisest, or the funniest--but I'm me. I am a creation formed by the maker of the entire Universe. The God of all things, made and formed me.

And you know what. I'm okay with that. In fact, I actually like it.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Remember that clutch I gave away?? Want to win it AGAIN??

So you'll probably remember that gorgeous clutch I gave away for Planting Chums. You know...the one that I was oh, so very tempted to have myself win. Very tempted, let me tell you.
Yes...that beautiful clutch.

Well, the lovely Carissa from lowercase letters ended up winning it...and now she's giving away a clutch on her FABULOUS blog as well! Click HERE to enter. You know you want to. 

Besides all that, Carissa's blog is one of my favorite places to stop by. So you won't regret following at all. Trust me. You'll thank me for this someday. lowercase letters is completely and totally amazing. And Carissa herself is even more amazing--a Christ follower, Mama, incredible blogger, and a funny, gorgeous and creative gal!

So stop by and enter. I'd wish you good luck on winning, but I want this clutch soooo bad. Tough luck, my friends. ;-)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The FINAL Winners!

First of all...thank you to everyone who participated. It's been really fun to check out all of your answers. :-)
And now...the moment I'm sure all of you have been waiting for...



The winner of The Dahlia Necklace by Offbeet is...


The winner of the Continents necklace by ThisMuchLove is...


The winner of the cute Knit Hat by therosenhoffs is...


The winner of any mini pillow by Joom is...


The winner of any 8.5x11 print by thewheatfield is...


The winner of the What's the Buzz notepads by Skeldesign is...


The winner of any 8x8 print by Lolasroom is...


The winner of the Colorido Beaded Hoop Earrings by Zeijlon is...


The winner of the pillows by tilly2shoes is...


The winner off the Keep Calm Carry On charm by Lilybaubles is...

As always, congrats to all of the winners! You can email me at aspireblog[at]hotmail[dot]com with your mailing info. :-)
I've got to admit...it's going to be a little weird not to write a Planting Chums post tonight. Can you believe we've had this going for pretty much a month?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Wanna see how weird I really am?? And NEW LIFE!

Okay. So I wanted to vlog a looooong time ago. But my video size was way too large. So I discarded that idea. But when my computer went in to be fixed, the webcam software was completely switched, and, lo and behold, I can upload. (I know. There was probably something I could do to make it smaller and all, but I know nothing about editing videos and all that.)

So here's my vlog...er...my vlog as well as my mom's, sister's and little bro Sam's. (make sure to watch the whole thing).

Alright. I admit it. I'm a dork. (and proud of it.)


HAHAHA! That would be me. :-)

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And just to let you know...spring isn't coming. It's here. I've seen it.




Isn't this new life just beautiful? I can honestly and easily say that I love spring.Vivid colors, vibrant life, and simple, ordinary beauty...all that's worth celebrating.

Have a lovely Tuesday, friends!
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Tomorrow is the last day to enter the Planting Chums giveaway! Click HERE to go there.