When I was a young girl, it always made me feel special and accepted when somebody labeled me their “best friend”. Somehow life seems just a little sweeter when you’ve won over the heart of another. But if I’m being honest, I’d also have to admit, there was also a feeling of victory when I’d earned that label. There’s an element of competition in the world of friendship – those who win feel good and those who lose don’t like it.
Why is it that we can’t love people and simply show them how much? Haven’t we been taught that actions speak louder than words? If there’s someone in our life who is dear to us, who has earned a special place in our heart, why do we feel we must call them “best”? The words, ”dear”, “special”, “precious”, “loved”, and “close”, are all ones which elevate the one we love to a high place but don’t exclude others. “Best” means “most desired”, and that’s where the trouble begins.
I know this goes against America’s cultural norm in a world of “BFF”, but it is a cultural norm that’s not biblical. I can’t think of one place in scripture where that term was used. Even Jesus had special friends (Mary, Martha and Lazarus… the disciple John), but there was no exclusion of others. He never said to any of them, “I love you most.” He welcomed and accepted all who came to him. He gave us the best example of what kind of friend we should be.
Books and movies often flaunt the phrase “best friend”, and it has such a warm, embracing appeal when you see or hear it there, but the media rarely shows the other side, because most people don’t want to admit that they’ve been hurt by being on the outside of a “best” friendship.
Those who are our special friends know it by the way we treat them, not by the labels we give them. No friend will turn away from you for not calling them “best” if you treat them well, but many people will turn away from you if they hear you use the term “best” when referring to someone else. They’ll feel you are keeping them at arms length.
Anne Shirley and Diana Barry’s relationship is every girl’s model of friendship, right? Well, I prefer what Anne said in L.M. Montgomery’s book Anne of Green Gables when she wanted a friend so desperately. She said, “It would be best to have a beautiful bosom friend”. I like that better because it doesn’t exclude anybody.
Lynnette Kraft at Dancing BarefootMy heart's desire is to touch and inspire the lives of those who God puts in my path. There's nothing special about me, but there is something very special about the One who not only offered me eternity with Him but also carried me through some terribly difficult times and made me exceedingly joyful! He's shown me that each and every trial in my life has been for a beautiful and valuable purpose.
I have an amazing husband who I've been married to since Dec. 17th 1988. We've gone through joyful times and we've suffered tremendous heartache together. We've had nine children and have said goodbye to three of them. To read a condensed version of our story, please go here: What Can Be Gained Through Heartache.
I love to laugh and hope to make you laugh a little too! Please stop by my blog and let me know that you did! I love making new "chums"!
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