I've been packing my dreams away lately. Putting them into boxes until it's time for me to take them out and see them realized. One of those dreams is my DSLR. My beautiful-someday-camera. You see, I'm at the point where I could buy one (used, but one, nonetheless). I was planning on getting a Canon Rebel XTI. I was all set.
And then God told me no.
It was in the finalization stages, contacting the amazon seller and seeing what he was bundling with the camera. And I felt that nudge. A prickle that I couldn't shake. Something on my shoulder that just stuck. I ended up not going with that camera, and started looking at craigslist...but then...
...I still couldn't get rid of that feeling that this wasn't the way to go. I knew that I was being told to wait. That it wasn't the right time. That I had to put aside my timing and instead go by His. But I didn't want to. I fought against it--oh, did I fight. I struggled with it and argued and tried to justify buying it.
But in the end, I just couldn't go with it. I know that I'm not supposed to buy my camera right now, even though I could. It's frustrating but I have to trust that His timing is better than mine.
Because ultimately, it is.
If that means I have to wait another month, I will. If it means I have to wait another six months, I will. If it means that I have to wait another year...then I will. It's hard and I don't like it. But He's God, and He is good, and His plans are infinitely better than my own. I'm not perfect--I don't like waiting at all and like I already said, it's hard. But I'll wait.
So I'm just praying for peace. I'm going to walk the path of waiting again. But in our lives, we have to wait. There are barely ever any instances where you can have what you want, when you want it. It's a lifelong journey of accepting the fact that waiting is good and can be God-honoring. Even though it doesn't always feel like that...okay, even though it hardly ever feels like that.
I waited two years for my laptop. In the course of a lifetime, that doesn't seem like much, but to me back then, the thought of having to wait was daunting. It was frustrating, and I was upset. I didn't always have a joyful spirit in waiting; just ask my sweet mom who put up with me when I would start lamenting the lack of my laptop.
But in the end, I got it, and I got an incredible deal with it that I wouldn't have gotten had I tried to buy it earlier--even though I could have. When I bought it was God's timing. And His is the best. Even if it doesn't seem that way--especially in the moment.
So this is goodbye for now to my beautiful DSLR. I'll be seeing you someday, over the rainbow and way up high. Where dreams of fancy meet my eyes and...wait, those aren't the lyrics. Oh, well.
I'll wait.
And then God told me no.
It was in the finalization stages, contacting the amazon seller and seeing what he was bundling with the camera. And I felt that nudge. A prickle that I couldn't shake. Something on my shoulder that just stuck. I ended up not going with that camera, and started looking at craigslist...but then...
...I still couldn't get rid of that feeling that this wasn't the way to go. I knew that I was being told to wait. That it wasn't the right time. That I had to put aside my timing and instead go by His. But I didn't want to. I fought against it--oh, did I fight. I struggled with it and argued and tried to justify buying it.
But in the end, I just couldn't go with it. I know that I'm not supposed to buy my camera right now, even though I could. It's frustrating but I have to trust that His timing is better than mine.
Because ultimately, it is.
If that means I have to wait another month, I will. If it means I have to wait another six months, I will. If it means that I have to wait another year...then I will. It's hard and I don't like it. But He's God, and He is good, and His plans are infinitely better than my own. I'm not perfect--I don't like waiting at all and like I already said, it's hard. But I'll wait.
So I'm just praying for peace. I'm going to walk the path of waiting again. But in our lives, we have to wait. There are barely ever any instances where you can have what you want, when you want it. It's a lifelong journey of accepting the fact that waiting is good and can be God-honoring. Even though it doesn't always feel like that...okay, even though it hardly ever feels like that.
I waited two years for my laptop. In the course of a lifetime, that doesn't seem like much, but to me back then, the thought of having to wait was daunting. It was frustrating, and I was upset. I didn't always have a joyful spirit in waiting; just ask my sweet mom who put up with me when I would start lamenting the lack of my laptop.
But in the end, I got it, and I got an incredible deal with it that I wouldn't have gotten had I tried to buy it earlier--even though I could have. When I bought it was God's timing. And His is the best. Even if it doesn't seem that way--especially in the moment.
So this is goodbye for now to my beautiful DSLR. I'll be seeing you someday, over the rainbow and way up high. Where dreams of fancy meet my eyes and...wait, those aren't the lyrics. Oh, well.
I'll wait.
(as a side note, sorry for my lack of blog-world-ness. Life has been crazy...but I've missed you all!)
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