Saturday, April 14, 2012

here is the truth:


I do not live a very glamorous life.

Most days you'll find me with my hair pulled into a messy bun, jeans on, and a baggy sweater slung over a t-shirt. I never wear socks and always brush my teeth. I like big breakfasts and have been known to eat more fruit than is good for me. I get up late, have to force myself to work out, and am a hot, sweaty mess when I'm done. I bite my nails and wear Christmas socks and procrastinate writing papers. Sometimes I think I'm funnier than I really am, I burst out into spontaneous song (loudly), and can turn almost any phrase into a movie quote. I don't eat all organic, all gluten-free, all vegetarian, whatever. I like my meat and I especially like food and I can never turn down dessert.

My room is usually messy, my makeup is cheap, and I don't have a specific cleansing routine for my face. I do my school, and often stop in the middle of it to do a round of Just Dance with my sisters, or make lunch, or sometimes, take a nap. I like to grill but sometimes burn the chicken, I once made rice pudding with three times as much rice as it needed, and I'm a hopeless romantic. Run-on sentences are my specialty, I'm surprised I'm not failing in math, and I'm terrible at going to bed early. I can't sleep in, I prefer tea over coffee, I worry too much about my appearance/weight, and I still have shirts from seventh grade. I laugh easily, talk with my hands, and sometimes go days without picking up my camera.

I haven't worked out once this week, although I've had good intentions, and I've ate more jellybeans than I care to recount. My mornings in the Word have been moved to hurried prayers and quick chapters read at night, and I've felt the business of time pressing on me. I've spent too much time working, too much time online, and not enough with my family. I haven't read a book except for school and I've consumed countless cups of tea. I've never traveled out of the country, I hardly ever go out to eat, and I rarely (if at all) visit urban, artsy, hipster places. I have laundry that's piled up, a journal that's laid almost completely untouched, and a heart that's aching to be still.

Why do I write this? Because I want to be real. So often I feel like we highlight the utopia and not the ordinary. The gritty, hard, mundane things of the everyday. I like to celebrate the good, the beautiful, and the simple things, but I don't want to ignore the messy. There is good in working through pain, ruminating on hard things, praying about difficult things, opening your heart up to say, "this is who I am and this is where I am and by God's grace, I will get through."

It's important to not forget the messy, because most of our days are stitched together with everyday thread. Some days are laced with memorable moments, sweet occurrences, and beautiful times. But the majority of our cloth is cut from plain material. It's ordinary. It's commonplace. And sometimes there are dropped stitches, fabric that is stretched, wrinkles that won't go away. It's important to speak of both. We cannot just downplay the bad till it's seemingly nonexistent. There is beauty in the hard things, joy in the messy, peace in the gritty places of life. There's good in the ordinary.

And that's what I want to share with you.

I am not the best blogger, I am not the most talented photographer, I am not the most eloquent writer, I am not the neatest daughter, I am not the most stylish dresser, I am not the healthiest eater, I am not the most intelligent person, I am not the most hipster woman, I am not the most artsy creator, I am not the most meticulous chef, I am not the most beautiful singer, and I am not the most glamorous girl you'll find.

But I am me, and I am dedicated to celebrating the good in the beautifully ordinary, messy moments of life. I am determined to be real. I am passionate about telling small stories in the everyday of a deeper story that He is writing through people and their lives. I love Jesus and His people. I love who I am, who I'm becoming, and where I'm going. I dream and wonder and believe that we are all called to be worldchangers. I love deep and live fierce and want to glorify God with every breath. Here is the truth: I do not live a very glamorous life but I wouldn't trade mine for anything.

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