I feel the pull to write something poetic or meaningful that will usher in 2013 for this little blog of mine. But life is pretty much the same here.
We are still hoarding tissue boxes and swapping cough drops out for candy, while spending much time napping, watching Full House re-runs and drinking hot tea. I've switched out my normal chamomile for apple cider vinegar with honey "tea" (don't knock it till you try it) and the past few days have been spent working on work that I ended up getting behind in when I got sick.
I went outside today, for the first time in over a week (literally -- stuffy noses don't bode well with Minnesota winters). We've been graced with a fresh dusting of snow to patch up the bald spots in our yard from heavy snowman making, snow fort shoveling, and the packed places that are pictures of boots stomping in the cold. I wanted to go for a walk today, in the crackly white snow almost like ice underfoot, but that would have been terrible for a cold. So I stayed indoors and listened to Passion 2013 (so good, friends! I'm hoping to go with my dear friend Morgan next year! if you haven't been listening to the Live Stream, go buy yourself a digital all access pass).
I've been sleeping in late, partially because I've been staying up late reading my Bible. It sounds counterintuitive, but I'm thankful for this sickness. I never thought I would say that! But the past week has truly been a testament to God's faithfulness and a picture of how He can bring good out of all situations. Because I've been sick, I've had so much time of rest. And I've been able to dig into God's Word, to pray, and I've been learning to seek God again. There is a fire in my heart, a thirst that cannot be quenched!
I haven't been earnestly seeking God the past few months and I've been in a place of spiritual dryness. It's been a place of so much struggle. I loved God but didn't live for Him, and I believed Him but didn't know Him. But Jesus (oh, sweet Jesus!) in His mercy and love has drawn me back to Him, in deeper and better ways than I could have imagined. He has given me a thirst for His word, a hunger to know Him, a fire for my call, a deeper love for His people, and He has changed my heart.
"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ" - Philippians 3:8
Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Amen! This is my heart. Never before have these words resonated so deeply in my spirit. I love how the Message puts it..."And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him."
I cannot emphasize what a deep change the Lord has made in my heart. Everything that I once thought was so important seems so insignificant just because of the pure joy of knowing Jesus! What a privilege and what a joy to know Christ our Savior and be called His own! I've been listening to worship music all day (if you're following me on twitter, you've probably seen the multitude of lyrics I've tweeted) and they have been such a comfort to my heart. I am learning of God's faithfulness, I am tasting richly of His goodness, I am drinking deep draughts of God! (Psalm 42 MSG)
There is so much God has done in my heart in 2013 already, that I am amazed and humbled. "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:13 When we seek God, we will find Him. What does that mean? I know that it's so much more than my feeble attempts in the past few months, a couple pages of rushed through readings in the Bible and hasty prayers uttered before bed. To seek is to go and search, earnestly, for our treasure ("For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:21). I want to seek Jesus. I don't want my treasure to be in anything in this world but in Christ alone.
I cannot even describe the difference in my heart -- it's truly as if God lifted a veil and I can see things for how they are. Never before have I experienced such a joy in knowing Jesus! I have some serious times of journaling and changes in my life ahead, because Jesus has made a 180 in my life. I'm excited to see what the Lord continues to do in my heart and excited to see all that He does throughout my life this year. There is so much I could say, so much I want to share, but this post would become very long. :) I'm so grateful that it's 2013 and grateful that I have time to be quiet and rest and plan for this year.
There is no truer love than this love.
I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus.
We are His.
There is nothing sweeter than being called Christ's own.
His children, His beloved, His people.
so much joy for my soul!
So, sweet friends. Happy 2013. Let me know how I can be praying for you!
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