2013

my heart.

steady.

fixed in direction.

firm in purpose.

unwavering in resolution.

"My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody." - Psalm 57:7

"Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the LORD, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you." - Hosea 10:12

"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." - 1 Corinthians 15:58

"If indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister." - Colossians 1:23

"[ Fight the Good Fight of Faith ] But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness." - 1 Timothy 6:11

"For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1:3-4

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12

waiting & seeking

I'm in a really cool place in my life where there are so many crazy dreams coming to reality and I'm clinging to promises of God.

& at the same time, I'm surrendering other dreams and finding myself content to put them away, simply because I'm not ready for them yet. and I recognize that. a lot of what I wanted to do this year, back when I was dreaming about 2013 in july of 2012, I now see that it isn't the right place for me to be at. the doors that God closed are closed because I'm not at a place where I would get the most out of them. simply put, some things I wanted to do, I'm content to wait for God's timing with them, because I see that now isn't the right time.

realizing that it's not the right time and being content with that is something I've struggled with for so long. I'm not a patient person (but praise God that He's working in me!). but now, I feel so at peace. I'm content. I know that God has good things coming and some things are for this season and others for another. which is fine by me -- in fact, it's great & wonderful & the best because I trust God and His timing. I know He has the best for me and has an abundance of blessings and good things for my life. learning to be grateful for this season here and to understand that some doors are closed for a reason.

AH. I just can't get enough of God. He is blowing me away and rocking my world and knocking my socks off. He's given me a hunger for His word and a fire for His people. I'm learning about my calling. I have been anointed by Jesus! & I'm so excited to see all that He continues to do in my heart and life this year. "He who promised is FAITHFUL!" He is faithful to complete the good work He began in me and my life, and that alone is cause to rejoice.

waiting & seeking & tasting of His goodness & seeing crazy things happen in my life.

it's a really cool place and I'm just blown away by all that God has done in my heart.

praise Jesus for who He is! grateful for this season of life that I'm in.

FAQ : part 2

part 1

Hey friends! It's been a few weeks since I did the last FAQ post, so I thought I would put one up for this lovely Tuesday. Again, I want to stress that I'm still learning and growing and so a lot of what I'm saying are things that I myself am learning. If you have any questions, just ask or feel free to send me an email! Would love to chat with you. :)

How did you earn money for your equipment?
Hard work and lots of it. I've purchased all of my current equipment myself. I babysat, designed, shot photos, and generally saved until I could afford it. I also rarely ever splurged and bought something for myself when I was saving...so I didn't really go shopping for almost a year because I was saving. I recognize that that's not necessarily the right way to do it, but for me, that's what worked. I was very careful to set clear boundaries, guidelines, and goals. I've always been a dreamer/do-er (planning + dreaming + thinking are some of my favorite things to do) so, I was careful to set realistic goals and deadlines and go forward to meet them.


Do you prefer black and white or color for pictures? Why?
Depends on the photo, depends on the mood, depends on the emotion, and depends on what I want to convey in that image. A lot of times I'll do a series in b&w because I love the depth to it.

If we got together at Starbucks, what would you get to drink?
I love coffee and love tea. If we got together at Starbucks, I'd order a peppermint mocha or chai tea latte if it was wintertime, or a green tea frappuccino come summer. Also, their caramel apple spice is amazing.

Do you change lenses often or do you use one most of the time during a photo shoot?
I only have one lens that I use at the moment and I'm pretty happy with it. I'm adding a 35 to my bag soon which I hope to transition into using for the majority of my shoots. In the future, yeah, I'll probably swap out lenses more often, but for the look I want to achieve and the feel I'm going for, I don't necessarily need to go from a 35mm to a 200mm in the same session. :)

Advice for posing? How do you get your clients to pose so naturally? I'm sometimes at a loss for ideas when it comes to posing/staging my subjects during a photoshoot. A typical photosession with client(s) for you...how do you come up with such perfect poses and frame ideas?! Do you study other photographers' work or does it just come to you spur of the moment? Do you tell your subjects to pose however, or do you direct them, tell them to talk to each other, laugh out loud, close their eyes? Do you go to photo shoots with lots of posing ideas for your clients? Is it ever hard or awkward for you to try to situate them? Is it ever awkward when taking photos or are you really confident in what you do?
I'm honestly not a huge poser. I'll give the couples (or a senior) a pose to sit in and then talk to them a bit until they relax. I don't want to be like, "okay, put your arm on your hip and rotate 15 degrees to the left and then tilt your chin up and you put your arm around her shoulder and turn slightly backwards and do a somersault." I usually give the couple something to do or talk about and step back to watch and wait and shoot. My type of shooting is focused on people and their stories, and I thrive most in waiting and watching for honest (and un-posed) moments between the couple I'm shooting, or in genuine interaction (and in-between moments) with a senior. I want my photos to be authentic and heartfelt, and if I'm continually directing, it's easy to lose the emotion in the midst of a new pose.

I used to study poses/sketch out ideas beforehand, and I do have a few poses I do at every session, but I don't have a shot list or a flipbook of poses that I pull out. I definitely do love looking at other photographers and their work, but I think the beauty in posing is that no pose is alike because no people or moment are exactly the same. As a result, I could ask one couple a question (or guide them into a pose) and their response (and emotions) could be completely different than another couple's, so the images from that would be totally different. I talk to my clients a lot while I'm shooting, I laugh a lot, I encourage a lot (because it can be nerve-wracking to be behind the camera), and mostly, I treat them like they're friends. For couples, I say to them at the beginning of the shoot that I want their session to be fun, meaningful, and a time when they can kiss, cuddle, tease, laugh, and just be free to be with the other person…and I'll be there to document some of those moments. Cheesy? Maybe. But at the end of the day, that's what I want them to come away with.

The rest involves just my surroundings and seeing what works with the light and whatnot. I love shooting through things, getting closer, going farther away, and using patches of light. I try not to ever say, "now laugh!" because if they (or he/she) laugh, I want them to really laugh and have it be genuine. So, I'll usually talk to them and ask them or if it's a couple, their fiancé/fiancee to tell a funny story about them or something. Sometimes I'll ask them to close their eyes, but I try to ask them to think about something, to tell the other something, to remember a memory. I want every image to have purpose and so if I have them close their eyes, I want them to have a reason to do so. Storytelling forever has my heart.

What is the best lens for portraits, landscape, and low-inside light conditions?
I currently use the 50 1.4 for everything, but I'm hoping to add the 35 1.4 to my camera bag soon. The nifty fifty is very versatile and can do almost anything in a pinch, but the 35 is a wider lens which I love. However, the 50 on my MKii is very different than the 50 on my T1i, because my camera is a full frame. If you have a crop-sensor camera and want to get more of a lifestyle, journalistic feel, I would go for a 28 or 35. If you want a standard portrait lens (which is also a good all-around lens, but not as wide) go for a 50. The 85 on a full-frame is a beautiful portrait lens, but definitely not as wide. For indoor photography/low-light conditions, you are going to want a lens that has a lower aperture, like 1.8, because it allows more light to get in your camera.

I'm wondering who has inspired your photography style?
I'm inspired by the honesty, storytelling, and wild beauty to the Parsons, The Kaisers (the Image is Found) Molly Flanagan, Jamie Delaine, Andria Lindquist, Tim Coulson, Kenzie Kate, Rosina Photo, and Kristen Leigh's photography.

How do you find locations? I find myself very limited. Do you just find public places (greenways, parks, cities, etc.) or do you contact owners of property as well?
All over! I've used google maps before, I've researched parks, and I've asked clients. I talk to each of my clients about what type of shoot they're looking for, as well as what sort of feel they want (for example, urban vs. more farm/field like), and then we go forward and brainstorm ideas based on that. If I'm shooting indoors, at a coffee shop or a restaurant or something, I contact the owners beforehand and make sure that it's okay. Once I shot in Target for a shoot for my mom for Operation Christmas Child and we called ahead beforehand to make sure it was okay.

I was wondering, what do you do when it's snowing/raining when you are shooting outside? Do you run for cover? Do you have some sort fancy thing that you use to cover your camera?
I'm terrible at this. If it's only lightly raining/snowing, I won't do anything with my camera, but I'll try to stay under a roof or shelter. If it's snowing/raining hard and I want to get shots, I go all fancy and poke a hole in a Target bag.

How do you get good lighting during a golden hour shoot? Do you use filters for your lenses? I find that my photos tend to get washed out from the sunlight or sun flare.
I LOVE golden hour but have found that I rarely get a chance to shoot in golden hour. The majority of my sessions the past year have been in midday, shade, or cloudy conditions. That's Minnesota for you. :) I don't use any filters for my lenses (maybe I should but at the moment, I don't want to invest in something that I don't really "need"). My photos can sometimes get washed out from sunflare, so what I'll either do is pull back the exposure, bring up the whites, or bump up the contrast.

Third part coming next week! Hopefully something I said helped a bit...and if you have any questions, feel free to ask and I'll try to clarify a little more. :) Have a wonderful Tuesday! and ps. thanks so much for your sweet comments on my last post! xoxo h

A future in God.

“So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrives. Don’t lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn’t know any better then; you do now. As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, “I am holy; you be holy.” - 1 Peter 1:13 ( MSG )

"now I'll be bold / as well as strong / use my head alongside my heart."priscilla : portraits

"Raise my hands
Paint my spirit gold
And bow my head
Keep my heart slow"
- mumford & sons

Texas light.
Summertime.
Sun sinking into the sky.
Shooting this pretty gal with friends and dear jessica.
and, oh yeah.
a piece of the shoreline like a melody.

can I do this everyday?

pieces of grace.

Hello, how are you, happy new year?

I feel the pull to write something poetic or meaningful that will usher in 2013 for this little blog of mine. But life is pretty much the same here.

We are still hoarding tissue boxes and swapping cough drops out for candy, while spending much time napping, watching Full House re-runs and drinking hot tea. I've switched out my normal chamomile for apple cider vinegar with honey "tea" (don't knock it till you try it) and the past few days have been spent working on work that I ended up getting behind in when I got sick.

I went outside today, for the first time in over a week (literally -- stuffy noses don't bode well with Minnesota winters). We've been graced with a fresh dusting of snow to patch up the bald spots in our yard from heavy snowman making, snow fort shoveling, and the packed places that are pictures of boots stomping in the cold. I wanted to go for a walk today, in the crackly white snow almost like ice underfoot, but that would have been terrible for a cold. So I stayed indoors and listened to Passion 2013 (so good, friends! I'm hoping to go with my dear friend Morgan next year! if you haven't been listening to the Live Stream, go buy yourself a digital all access pass).

I've been sleeping in late, partially because I've been staying up late reading my Bible. It sounds counterintuitive, but I'm thankful for this sickness. I never thought I would say that! But the past week has truly been a testament to God's faithfulness and a picture of how He can bring good out of all situations. Because I've been sick, I've had so much time of rest. And I've been able to dig into God's Word, to pray, and I've been learning to seek God again. There is a fire in my heart, a thirst that cannot be quenched!

I haven't been earnestly seeking God the past few months and I've been in a place of spiritual dryness. It's been a place of so much struggle. I loved God but didn't live for Him, and I believed Him but didn't know Him. But Jesus (oh, sweet Jesus!) in His mercy and love has drawn me back to Him, in deeper and better ways than I could have imagined. He has given me a thirst for His word, a hunger to know Him, a fire for my call, a deeper love for His people, and He has changed my heart.

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ" - Philippians 3:8

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Amen! This is my heart. Never before have these words resonated so deeply in my spirit. I love how the Message puts it..."And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I’ve dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him."

I cannot emphasize what a deep change the Lord has made in my heart. Everything that I once thought was so important seems so insignificant just because of the pure joy of knowing Jesus! What a privilege and what a joy to know Christ our Savior and be called His own! I've been listening to worship music all day (if you're following me on twitter, you've probably seen the multitude of lyrics I've tweeted) and they have been such a comfort to my heart. I am learning of God's faithfulness, I am tasting richly of His goodness, I am drinking deep draughts of God! (Psalm 42 MSG)

There is so much God has done in my heart in 2013 already, that I am amazed and humbled. "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:13 When we seek God, we will find Him. What does that mean? I know that it's so much more than my feeble attempts in the past few months, a couple pages of rushed through readings in the Bible and hasty prayers uttered before bed. To seek is to go and search, earnestly, for our treasure ("For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:21). I want to seek Jesus. I don't want my treasure to be in anything in this world but in Christ alone.

I cannot even describe the difference in my heart -- it's truly as if God lifted a veil and I can see things for how they are. Never before have I experienced such a joy in knowing Jesus! I have some serious times of journaling and changes in my life ahead, because Jesus has made a 180 in my life. I'm excited to see what the Lord continues to do in my heart and excited to see all that He does throughout my life this year. There is so much I could say, so much I want to share, but this post would become very long. :) I'm so grateful that it's 2013 and grateful that I have time to be quiet and rest and plan for this year.

There is no truer love than this love.
I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus.
We are His.
There is nothing sweeter than being called Christ's own.
His children, His beloved, His people.
so much joy for my soul!

So, sweet friends. Happy 2013. Let me know how I can be praying for you!

on the giving of grace and names that are our own.

and isn't it funny that what names us is often the thing we struggle with most? threaded in strands of gold and what I pretend is glitter but is just twine, my name means grace. grace, palms open and head up in ways that you remember to breathe. like the sky is for stars and rain tastes better than sun on my skin, we are called to live in grace and yet I trip and stumble and end up in puddles of saltwater painted black with the thickness of stars. I always wanted to walk the ocean side and write my name in the shoreline with sea foam but I ended up with seaweed clutched hard in my hands. I could never find a way to skip rocks so I threw stones into the the deep and they sunk to the bottom with a thud like the last word I never had.

grace. to give grace. to not only others, but myself.

grace for the days spent on the couch, cough drops in hand and cups of lukewarm water, teabags marking rings on the bottom, like freckles painting my face. grace for the times I've cried and compared myself in the mirror, "it isn't enough," but what is enough isn't me and never was and will be (in my weakness, He is perfect strength). grace for the times I've slept in too late and walked through the days with sleep in my eyes like a catalogue of the dreams I wanted to hang onto just a little longer. grace for the long nights working with only the dull glow of my screen to keep me up, a pandora station playing the strains of love songs and goodbyes wrapped together with the sound of banjos.

grace for the empty sketchbooks I couldn't bear to finish and the cakes that turned out flat and the stories I tried not to write but found myself penciling in graphite on napkins holding crumbs from that one pastry I loved and ordered everytime I bought coffee like I was pretending I was in a big city and not this small town. to be truthful, me and my red lipstick stick out like a sore thumb in this farmers country but I can't bear to give up the early mornings with the fields outside burnt into the sky, mornings painted the color of autumn. and so there is grace for not loving the cities, for loving the quiet of the country. there is grace that is gold and richer than the hay bales stacked to keep out the coming frost that says here.

we walk, head up and eyes open but not seeing, in heels that fit too small, holding onto our ideas of what should be and who we could be. bagels are carbs and I'll take my coffee black, in the city that I never wanted to live, because that's how we run through our days of life, chasing other people's dreams and dropping stones into sea foam painted green like the sky. I was never good at acrylics but I have a drawer full of watercolor paints that were gifts when I dreamed of being nothing more than an artist. paint stains on your shirt are frowned on and my fingerprints always left smudges of blue or red or green because the colors I dabbed onto brushes always found my fingers, so I washed my hands and put away canvases and pretended to love what everyone else liked.

and there is grace for that. grace for the days spent pretending to be someone you're not, but sooner or later the mask slips and it was only paper-maiche that never truly dried. I'll pull the tearing paper from my freckles and throw off my heels and run barefoot, because there's nothing sweeter than the feel of fresh earth and grass underfoot, and there's nothing wrong with food and who cares about the city lights when you have the stars in the sky, like a patchwork quilt poked with fairy lights. I wrote my name in the dirt with a twig and somehow, found that grace isn't just in giving, but it's in being, and that there is a beauty to being who I am.

I ate fresh raspberries and held grace in open palms and realized that to give grace, I have to start with me.

some personal thoughts and rambly prose from being sick.
there is grace even in these moments.
learning to see it and to give it and to live it.