some thoughts on photography.

"And may your art be a sincere reflection of what
already exists; not a post of projection for what we desire."
— Rebecca Parker Payne
This quote really spoke to me yesterday.

There's so much pressure on photographers to take the perfect image.

Not perfect only in the sense of technical details, but perfect in light and framing and composition and moment. I've only done one wedding and I've been a part of the photography industry for only a short time, but I see it underneath the surface. So much of what we see weddings and family shoots should be. How you should approach them. How you need to do them. What shots you have to take. How you should shoot silhouette photos and how to get the family to laugh and what reflector to use to get nice catchlights. And I'm not saying that sometimes, things like that aren't valuable, because they truly are.

(I'm not saying to be uneducated or to not learn as much as you can about weddings, family shoots, or photography in general! learn learn learn and keep learning. but don't shoot an image just because that's what you're "supposed to do." do your thing and do it well.)

But I think in compiling a shot list or studying pose ideas or even poring over wedding or family blogs, we lose the magic and wonder in the spontaneity. Photography is about waiting and watching for those fleeting, ephemeral, moments of wonder. And then having the eyes to see them when they come and to appreciate and celebrate them for what they are. The sad thing about the digital age is we can become so spray and pray that we lose the beauty of natural, honest moments. Heartfelt images are beautiful -- the in between and behind the scenes and middle ground photos. Maybe they don't seem like much at first. But they are layered with pieces of your story.

And I want that depth of authenticity and honesty in my work. Maybe not the perfect shot in terms of awards or wedding blogs or magazine features. But I'd rather take an image that spoke to someone rather than an image that was beautifully executed, breathtakingly perfect technique wise, but lacked authenticity and emotion.

If the moment is not there, I will not make it.
If the feeling is not there, I will not fake it.
If it's not honest, I won't take it.

I want my photos to have a depth. To be authentic and real and heartfelt.

Quiet and simple.

Honest.

what's on my heart lately + friday lists.

I'm out of words. There are days when I'm full of ideas and thoughts I want to articulate, and there are other days when I'm quiet. When I need to be still and need to process, to think things through, to mull over ideas and dreams. December is a month to plan, dream, and just be. I originally planned to take off the entire month (the joys of homeschooling!) but because of other events, I'm only taking the last two and a half weeks off. In the meantime, I'm busy with last minute assignments, designs due before Christmas, and photos to finish and send out. And so, I'm hurrying and rushing and trying to find time for good, simple things. Learning to be steadfast.

Yesterday, I played piano for two hours and baked cinnamon scones that tasted like Thanksgiving. There's a chance of snow this weekend that I'm wishing will turn into a full out storm because the ground is brown and all our lovely white stuff is melted away. My mom and sister and I are going to Costco today to shop for the family, and if we're lucky, we're picking up a tree on the way home.

Basically, life is busy and the weeks are long but the days are short. And I'm trying to soak up as much of the wonder of this season as possible. This includes cramming cookie making, tree decorating, snow fort creating, photo taking, piano playing, Christmas decorating, gift shopping / making / mailing, and family game / movie playing as possible. Not to mention ugly sweater wearing, Christmas carol listening and singing, and spending as much time with my family as possible. And of course, watching Elf at least three times. I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite!

A few lists (seven to fourteen) for the weekend. Have one filled with whimsy and wonder and joy, friends.

musicians I adore.
Jonsi / Sigur Ros
Amy Seeley
Regina Spektor
Norah Jones
Bon Iver
Ray Lamontagne
Ben Rector
Frank Sinatra / Dean Martin
Mumford and Sons
Jason Mraz
Feist
Iron and Wine
The Civil Wars
One Republic
Coldplay
Vince Guaraldi
Mozart
Of Monsters and Men
The Rend Collective

food I never tire of.
raspberries
homemade bread slathered with butter and fresh jam
my mom's rice pudding
pomegranates
chocolate
tea
oatmeal with brown sugar and a cup of black coffee

sights that make my heart sing.
the world covered in snow
downtown decorated come Christmas time
sunrises
the Woodland sign
my siblings faces after they receive a gift
our clatter of shoes in grandma and grandpa's entryway
trees covered thick in red orange leaves
hay bales scattered on a dusty gold field
blackbirds across a cloudy grey sky

things I collect.
Memories
Old Photos
Notes, ticket stubs, letters, trinkets
My Birthday pennies
Notebooks and journals
Books
Moments

things in my bag.
hair bindies + bobby pins
notes
my Bible
my journal and two to three small notebooks
four pens, at least one of them empty
rings
a couple dollars and a few quarters from my change at Starbucks
empty gum wrappers
a book, most likely wrinkled (probably The Book Thief)
my phone
half-used gift cards
letters waiting to be answered

a (few) things I want to do someday.
Live in Colorado
Cook through Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child
Backpack though Europe
Plant a big garden
Learn how to swing dance
Go without all media for a week
Visit the Louvre
Write a book, if just for myself
Fall in love, get married, and have a big family bustling with kiddos and laughter
Pay for a stranger’s groceries
Adventure

things I need.
grace
contacts
at least five hours of sleep
music
a haircut
a piano to play
my family
a camera in my hands and my journal at my side

a few reasons I love winter.
scarves and gloves
gatherings with friends
baking (especially cookies)
the smell of peppermint
fresh coffee
snow (snow snow snow)
Christmas music
long socks
quiet days
watching the sunrise
poetry and journaling
old books and games smelling of must and memories
cozy sweaters
air so clear you can taste it

JARED + EMILY // COUPLE

I love shooting weddings, I love shooting engagements, and I just love shooting couples. There's such a blessing to be able to come alongside people in love, whether they're in butterfly fluttering young love and happily engaged, can't stop smiling, laughing, and crying happy tears during their wedding, or in the quieter, deeper together that is made up of years of being one. At the heart of it, I love to be to tell stories. We were able to shoot the lovely Jared and Emily down in Texas for Jessica Shae's internship, and I had such a wonderful time with them. They've been married for over a year and held hands the entire time they weren't been shot, which made me smile and my heart happy. Jared is gentle and silly with Emily and you can see she is his treasure. Emily is sweet and darling and so happy to just be with Jared. They were goofy and loving with each other, kissing and teasing and making funny faces and generally just having a good time together. I was so glad to have been able to meet them and take their photos, if even for just a little bit. This is Jared and Emily on a hot summer evening in Texas.

Happy Wednesday! And thank you all for your questions yesterday! faq post coming soon! xo, h

do you have a question? just ask! : FAQ

I have been so blessed this past year. All the love and support I've received from setting up my business and taking the leap to become a professional photographer has been so encouraging. Every like, every comment, every shoot, every new friend I've made through this journey has blessed my heart. I am so grateful for all of you and want to hopefully, give back a little this December.

I don't profess to be an expert and I know that I still have so much growing and learning to do. In all honesty, I hope that I never stop learning, or never reach a point where I believe that I "know it all" or have "nothing else to learn." Because there will always be something new I can learn, there will always be a next step, there will always be a deepening and strengthening and refining. And my hope is to always keep growing in every area of my life.

Back in the summer, when I attended the lovely Jessica Shae's internship, I told her about how I dreamed of mentoring someday. I've been incredibly blessed (and I very grateful!) to have had some wonderful photographers come alongside me and help me along in my journey, and my heart is to do the same. I mentioned my fears about not knowing enough, not being far enough along in my photography business, and not being able to offer something. But her words were so encouraging and she reminded me that there is always something that I can help with...little or big, simple or complex, there's always one thing, perhaps something I wish someone had told me at the beginning of my journey that I can help you with.

So, do you have a question about photography? What my favorite lens is? Behind the scenes details? Please ask me below and I'll answer it as best as I can. :) Because of the direction of my business, as well as my heart, I will not be answering graphic design questions simply because it's not what I am pursuing longterm.

I'm contemplating the possibility of doing mentorships come next year. If you're interested or would like more details, please email me! (hello @ imhannahnicole . com)

fifty two feet till home.

sometimes, my heart is so restless
going going going,
like the spaces between my fingers
where yours once sat.
i wander the roads between here
and there, counting the steps
from your stoop to mine,
and i tell it, wait
i whisper, hope,
i have fifty two feet till home.

it is the morning light
in a tangle of variegating rays
my heart my heart
the memory of days, gone by.
(why are you bright
why are you light
sun in eyes
mind over heart)

sometimes, my heart is so yearning
looking in alleyways, roads untraveled.
my feet are in ruts
my soles are in dust,
i pound the pedaled path
come on, come on

sun in eyes
mind over heart
why have you gone?
where have you come from?

it is the morning light
that catches my eyes.
i lift a hand (why are you bright?)
memory of days
tangled in the skies painted with blackbirds wings.

i have a map in my mind's eye
five thousand forty two steps
to your door,
five thousand forty two knocks
before i wander gone.

feet in ruts, soles in dust,
morning light like summer skies.
i taste salt on my lips, sun in my eyes
it it is the yearning morning,
and i am home
i am home.

sun in eyes
where have you gone
five thousand forty two steps
where have you come from?
my feet pound pedaled paths
but your door is closed
fifteen seconds till gone.

sometimes my heart is so aching
tangled skies in sunlight
i wander the town
pathways i used to know
like each and every laugh line
on your face,
i am home
i am home

come on, come on
i am home