monkey bread and many laughs

I like to heart-to-heart talks, the kind where you cannot help but feel inspired, encouraged, and challenged. Preferably over coffee, I love sharing my heart. I'm learning to listen more and to truly invest in people -- learning to be silent and let their words spill out instead of me demanding mine be heard. When you take time to listen to someone else's story, it's a beautiful thing.

My sweet friend, Hayley, has been on the blog a few times before. I stayed over at her house the other night and we had such a fun time. As both of us love to cook (seriously, we discussed how we'd love to study at Le Cordon Bleu if it wasn't so expensive), we made some monkey bread for breakfast. Last time I was over, we made homemade cinnamon rolls, and the time before that, we baked a Boston Creme Pie. We weren't so fancy this time, and just opted for a quick recipe on the back of a Pillsbury biscuit container. Pre-made dough or not, it was delicious.

It's not so much the elaborateness of a meal that makes it memorable, but the quality of the gathering and the friends you share it with. For us, it was just two talking over coffee, laughing as we stuffed ourselves silly on monkey bread and fruit salad. And knowing me, I had to take some pictures. There's a second set I'm excited to share, but for now, here's a little bit of my weekend. So blessed by this girl's friendship! She's on fire for Jesus and is going places.

ps. posting on Fernweh today! take a look.

a normal thursday afternoon at our house.

2:15 (or so) in the afternoon rolls around, and we'll usually find Grace sitting at the table next to the window (midday sun streaming hot inside) with a book in her hand. She's so serious when she reads, unlike the rest of the time. What's an everyday occurrence at your home? My family has become very talented in the fine art of ignoring a camera, which I'm glad of. I like real-life, not "now pretend you're reading! now smile" kinda shots. Happy Friday!

thankful thoughts

January is the slowest month for me. I'm itching to get out and make some photos, but the negative twenty degree or so temperatures are not so kind to my fingers (or face, for that matter). I've been busy with work, school, and just life. And it's been good. So this week (or mid-week, as it is) I'm thankful for...

lazy, quiet Tuesdays
gluten free cake and cupcakes
snow falling softly
poetry and words
watching my sisters dance
candles burning
watching movies with my brothers
listening to sammy laugh
running in the early morning (inside -- I'm not that crazy. hah!)
my moleskine, almost filled, and the new one waiting
productive days
spaghetti for dinner
my church family
design jobs
planning crazy amazing things for this summer
going to bed early for once
beyond exciting new projects
fernweh
and...
listening to my grandpa tell stories from when he was younger

what are you grateful for?

the many faces of eli

The other day at lunch, 'Lijah showed us all of his faces. He demonstrated them in the middle of eating a sandwich stuffed with luncheon meats and veggies while talking to Sam and grabbing a few more chips. "Okay, now, what's your...mad face?" I asked. He crinkled his nose and bared his teeth and glared at me from under his conductor hat. "Show me your excited face?" His scowl transformed into a grin that made me laugh.

One of my favorite things about being the oldest is watching the littles grow up. Hearing their stories, listening to them play piano (chopsticks never sounded so good), reading them books, and tickling them until we can't stop laughing. I love their knock-knock jokes (Eli's are all variations on the same theme), mismatched socks, sticky kisses, messy faces, and giggles. Mostly, I love them. Everyday that passes I'm reminded of how blessed I am to be their big sister.

unite my heart.

More and more, I've been seeing the Lord work in my life and in my heart. He's showing me all the areas of my life that I have yet to surrender -- that I'm still clinging to with my hands gripping tight. It's a hard thing to see where you fall short. I struggle with my pride, so being less than the woman I want to be is a hard thing to come to grips with. But in my weakness, He is perfect strength. Not He will be, or if you're good enough, He will be, but He IS perfect strength. It's not about us and what we can do. It's all about Him.

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. "Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God." - Romans 5:1-2
I was reading this verse this morning on my phone, moments after I woke up, and I had to reread it again and again. I bookmarked it with a huge AMENNN and whispered it into the morning, because it's so good. As I read the Bible more, the more I fall in love with the words in it. With His words.

I look at my relationship with Christ and think, "I can't do this. I'm not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, loving enough...I'm not enough!" And that's the point. I can't do this myself. Because of sin, I cannot live a life that is pleasing to God. BUT, in my weakness He is perfect strength. It's His spirit, moving in me, that changes me and enables me to do what I cannot do. He gives me strength, purpose, passion, and a wholeness that is Him. I am a sinner, but He calls me daughter. It's not about what I can do, but it's about what He has done and what He is doing. He's changing lives and making broken hearts new...praise Him from the rooftops!

One of my favorite passages, 2 Corinthians 3:18, talks about how as we walk with God, we become more like Him. From one degree of glory to the next, we are transformed more and more into His image. How cool is that?! By living with Him, we become more like Him. Our love deepens, our hearts opens, and our faces shine, transfigured by His glory. Through Him, we're free to live this whole-hearted grace-filled life. By faith, we can enter into this wildly extravagant life-gift that Christ provides.

Psalm 86:11-13 is my verse for 2012, and I love how The Message translation puts part of verse eleven: "Put me together, one heart and mind; then, undivided, I'll worship in joyful fear." That's what I want for my heart. It's my prayer this year that I'll be a woman who loves, gives, and lives extravagantly, with a heart that is united to fear His name. Whole, because of Him. One woman passionately and purposefully living out this extravagant grace-filled life-gift that He provides, walking with Him from one degree of glory to the next. In my weakness, He is perfect strength.

Not just any strength. Perfect strength.

Teach me your way, O LORD,
that I may walk in your truth;
unite my heart to fear your name.
I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,
and I will glorify your name forever.
For great is your steadfast love toward me;
you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.
Psalm 86:11-13

life, celiac disease, & sam. one year reflections.

One year ago yesterday, Samuel was in the hospital. We didn't know why. He was unsteady and falling over all the time, lethargic, and was losing weight rapidly. He was sick and the doctors had no answers. They told us he was fine.


He wasn't fine. I look back at photos and words from last January and I want to cry. The fear in my words makes me choke and I hate seeing his face when he's in so much pain. He was slowly getting sicker and sicker and he would wake up with rings around his eyes. In the mornings, my mom would weigh him and we would all gather around, hoping that the numbers would go up rather than down.

He was in and out of the hospital for a few weeks. January 2011 was one of the hardest months I've ever gone through. I cried daily and would pray hourly. The uncertainty was crippling, but more so than that, the knowledge that Sam was being dismissed again and again by doctors who claimed he was fine when he was anything but that hit me hard. Some of the things they said make me so sick to my stomach. But my mom pushed and people prayed -- hard -- and God worked.


And that's when we found out he had Celiac Disease.

The rest of 2011 was a whirlwind and a roller coaster in the most literal sense of the word. Food took on a new meaning and our family changed. Slowly, but surely, God worked on our hearts and in our lives in profound ways. Healing came, not only to Samuel's body, but to all of us and our hearts. He blessed us beyond measure throughout that difficult season.

We were filled with a peace surpassing any understanding and a strength that was not our own. It's hard. It's really really really hard. He can never have gluten. Any slight contamination could cause his weakened immune system to go back to square one. Gluten is everywhere -- in the strangest, oddest places. Living gluten-free in a world that's not nearly gluten-free enough is difficult. It's so hard watching him when he knows he can't have something.

Yet, through it all, God's used Samuel's story. He's blessed our family and we've been watching Celiac Disease Awareness grow. In the midst of the hard days, when Sammy was too weak and tired to do anything, and in the days brimming with health and joy, and all the days in between. We're praising God for Sam's life and praying for a greater awareness so that no one else has to go through what Samuel did.


This little boy, who last year, was sick and growing weaker, is now thriving and growing stronger. He's healthy and full of energy. He runs around and has sprouted several inches. He's gaining weight and eating and absorbing nutrients. He's laughing and playing and full of life.

And I am so thankful.

Below are some links my mom compiled about Celiac Disease. They include some posts about Sam and his story and our family's journey on her site. I encourage you to read and share. Thank you so much, friends!

To learn more about Samuel's story with Celiac Disease please click HERE to read his one year post orHERE to browse all past posts. For some initial posts please see these -->> Celiac Disease Journey, Dear Mom of the Little Boy with Celiac Disease What I Learned. For more information regarding Celiac Disease please go to www.celiac.com. For an excellent resource for parents of children with Celiac Disease please visit ROCK {Raising Our Celiac Kids}