It's time to LIVE real and wholly and COMPLETE.

I was prompted by a post of Ab’s, to open my Bible after a long period of negligence. Negligence—time that I used in other ways. Instead of putting God first and foremost in my life, and dedicating my time to Him, I stuck Him on the shelf. It was always, “I have to do this and this and this, and then I can read my Bible and pray.” By that time, there was no time. I always managed to evade those precious moments.

Was it because I was afraid? Yes. Partially. The truth is, I didn’t want to submit to Him. It sounds funny, but I didn’t want to let Him work through me. If I submitted, that would mean that my life would change, and I didn’t want that change. It meant that I would become a part of Him, and in dedicating my life to Him, I would change. I would be different—I’d become a new person in Christ.

And that was scary to me. To throw away the old and put on the new. To embrace His plan and reject my own. To let go of what I want and instead, follow His path.

I didn’t want to. I fought against it for months. Yes, I’m a Christian, or at least I called myself one. There was no spark, no vividness. There was just numbness and coldness and tightness. Stretched and pulled taught, so close to snapping, so close to breaking.

I was just sitting there on that fence, waiting there and not doing anything. Staring longingly at those seemingly elusive fields and wanting to sink my toes into that rich grass. There wasn’t anything I could do about it—right? How could I just lower myself off of that fence? How could I just let myself go and dance in that wheat, feeling the wind on my face and the chirping of crickets…

There wasn’t any way that I could submit—could there be? I had barred myself from Him. I had filled my mind with Satan’s lies, “Oh, you don’t really believe. You can’t submit. Even if you do submit, you still won’t.” These lies plagued me, poisoned me—numbed me. They kept me on that fence and made me stay there. I couldn’t leave and let myself dance in those fields. I was stuck solid on the fence of disbelief and fear.

But that’s when I decided I was finally done with that sitting. I wanted to get up and MOVE.

I’ve had that revelation several times. “This will be it! This will be the time that I’ll get up and go! I won’t be passive—I’ll submit! I live completely and utterly for God.” But I’ve failed. I haven’t followed through. Truthfully, because I haven’t wanted to follow through. Okay, that’s not true. I HAVE wanted to follow through, but a part of me has barred me from that.

That same part that’s told me I’m not good enough to be a child of God, and that I’ll never be able to dance with Jesus—that’s the same part that kept me from submitting and following through. That’s the same part that told me there was no way that I could really become a follower of Jesus.

And today was the day to let that part GO. I read my bible. I prayed. And finally, I prayed that God would take that burden (and several others). I prayed that God would take things I’ve been struggling with, fears I’ve been having, doubts that have been plaguing me—I prayed that He’d take them from me. I didn’t need those burdens anymore—I didn’t need those fears, or doubts, or pains. I didn’t need those lies. I just needed Him.

It’s not a one time thing. There will be days that I’ll struggle. There will be times I’ll almost give up—times that I’ll just want to hold on to those burdens. But I’ll keep going. I'll keep praying. I'll keep letting go. I’ll keep fighting. This is my time to live vividly. This is my time to dance. This is my time to get off that fence and MOVE. Even if it means change. Even if it means becoming new. This is my time to become REAL and WHOLE and complete.

This is my time. And it’s now.

I won't let myself be held back by Satan's lies anymore. There is no more on the fence--there is no more sitting. It's time to get up and do something. It's my time to live--to live deeply and truly and wholly.

I've let go and I'll keep letting go. I'll keep praying to Him. I'll keep submitting--even if it's painful; even if I don't want to. It's continuous--it's every day--it's always. But it's real--that's what faith is. It's a continuous choice to KEEP believing. And I'll keep going. I'll keep believing.

I am FREE in Him. I am FREE to run, and to dance, and to LIVE.

Vividly.

iheartfaces Photography Challenge...Dramatic B&W

I've never done this before, buuuut...I had nothing to post about and I really wanted to post....soooo....I entered into the iheartfaces photography challenge. (this being my first time doing it too.)

The theme this week? Dramatic B&W....mmmm....can you say yummy? (the black and white, that is.)

My beautiful brother sam. I <3 my family.

SURPRISE! Click on over to see.....

See what's the surprise? (hint...you have to actually click onto my blog to see). Wellll? That's right. I did it. I re-designed my blog...again.

Okay, let me explain. I just recently (only a few weeks ago, really) redid my blog. And I was happy with it. I thought it was nice, and I liked the colors and layout.

But lately, I'd been looking at my blog and feeling like it was really....I don't know...heavy? It just felt like it was thick...and heavy...and thick...and heavy...and thick...and you get the picture. I was tired of that deep, dark, heaviness. It just wasn't light or refreshing - and not at all vivid. And especially after writing my Vivid post, I wanted something VIVID. Something full of life, and color, and energy, yet very clean.

Soo...I sat down at my laptop and opened up photoshop (and later dreamweaver) and this is what I came up with. To me, it feels a lot cleaner, a lot fresher, a lot simpler, and a lot more VIVID. Which was the goal.

What do you think? I know that I've changed my blog design sooo many times, but I think this one's gonna stay for awhile.

Scratch the think; I know it will. ;-)

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Also, the ECS series will be starting up very soon. I've revamped it a bit, and I'll post about it tomoooorow...

Winners of the Blog Button Giveaway!.....

Wanna know who won the giveaway? I tirelessly got up at six this morning to tally up all the votes...just kidding. (I did get up at six, but that's been a norm this week.)

Soo...including all the extra votes added, there were 59 in all...30 people entered in total. (I know, I know, I'm just stalling.)

(Picture of the votes was taken by my web cam...hence the quality. If you look closely, the winners names are circled.)

Okay, okay, I'll tell you who won. ;-)

The Winners are....

Elyse Martin and ♥Warriors101♥

Congrats to you both--and thanks to all who entered! You can email me at elvishauthoress [at] gmail [dot] com to talk about all the design stuff. 

Who thought this was fun? (okay, I admit it, I did. It was kinda exciting to look up the winners and all. ^_^) Maybe in the future I'll do something like this again...whaddya think? ;-)

LAST day to enter the blog button giveaway! La Mia Famiglia, and Spring

Today is the last day to enter the giveaway. Hurry over to THIS post (by clinking that link or the button) to enter.

AND, to make it a little more fun, I'm going to giveaway two blog buttons. All you have to do is enter, and your name will be entered. How fun is that, right? Hurry up and enter...the giveaway ends midnight tonight. :-)

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Just wanted to highlight some of la mia famiglia's blogs...

My Aunt Abby recently created a blog, and I'm sure she'd LOOOOVE to have y'all clicking that followers button (which, last I checked, is located on the bottom of her blog.) Some of you know that she headed off to New Zealand for a few months for an internship and we've been missing her lots...thank goodness for fb, skype, and now, blogger. ;-) 

She's got an introductory type of post up that you've just gotta read - it gives perfect light into our family. Head over there, and when you're done...

...Get ready to visit my mom's blog!

My momma recently (okay, a few months ago, but I've been kinda lazy in getting her blog ready for her...busy and all) switched her blog to blogger, and I know she'd love to have you clicking the followers tab too. She's got a post up about sweeping, of all things, but it's totally my momma (and trust me, it's actually interesting.) If you want to read her old blog, you can find it here, but I would definitely suggest going to her new one. In fact, I demand it, alright? lol. ^_^

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Mom's, Abby, and aunt Becky's feet...and I cheated a bit. It's from last year, but it just captures spring. 

And just one last thing...Spring has officially arrived. My brothers have been outside pretty much 24/7, and we're loving the sun...even though it's not super warm (okay, it's a bit chilly sometimes) but as long as the snow is gone, it's all good. 

We've been blowing bubbles like crazy, which Sam loves...I'll have to try to take some pictures of that - it's pretty funny watching his face. 

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SO...remember to enter the giveaway, and check out my family's blogs....I know you'll love them. :-)

I want to live in vivid joy...

Where has the time gone?

It’s been almost a week since my last posting…and this is the first since. I’m not one of those people to set times and days and things to post, but I can recognize my lack of posting. Which is pretty apparent, so it’s not a surprise I can see it.

It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, it’s that I’m unsure how to say it. The idea forms in my head and gets stopped when it tries to go into words. The creativity is stopped at that point, and I’m left with a buildup of jumbled ideas and thoughts. Pretty soon, BOOM! It’s gotta burst sometime and then it’ll spill out, streaming from my brain. I’ll be stuck lying in the sticky goop of my own mind.

Okay, obviously, not really, but that’s how it feels like.

There are times when my mind feels so cloudy. It’s like I am unable to produce anything—I am unable to create, so I sit waiting numbly. My creativity seems to have slowly dripped away, until I’m left with nothing but the sticky residue, sitting idly.

This is one of those times. I’m sitting here, putting my fingers on the keys, and hoping that something will come out other than terrible analogies of sap and bursting thoughts. Score so far, analogies – 2, deep thoughts—0.

It’s not that I’m complaining. It’s just a time of grayness. I want those vivid colors, baby! I want to be able to see beyond things, and hear what I would not have before, and feel and think deeper—I want to be able to immerse myself in vividness and beauty, and be able to be a part of that beauty.

But I know why I can’t at the moment.

In times when you feel like you have no creativity, or when you’re stuck and you can’t figure something out, or you really just feel numb to everything—that means you need God.

I was going to write my “Are you Lethargic in your Walk with God?” post, but I realized that that’s exactly how I am. I need Jesus, and because I haven’t been diligently seeking, I’m feeling lethargic and numb.

I’ve let my walk with God go lax—other things have been taking the place of that number one spot in my life. School work, ballet, time with my family, lazy moments, and times spent reading or on my laptop—they’ve all crowded in an replaced that precious time that I need to have with God. That we need to have in order to be really living, and not just existing.

And that’s why I’ve been feeling stuck. Like I’m sitting here, trapped in my ideas, but I can’t pull myself free of them to put them into a cohesive piece. (analogies—3)

When we’re numb, that’s when we need Him. When we’re stuck, we have to turn to him. He’ll grasp our hands and pull us out of our sticky mess. As long as we turn to Him—as long as we submit to Him.

Because we have to submit to Him. When you give your life to Christ, it’s not just a onetime thing—that’s not enough. To quote my mom, “Faith is a day by day, moment by moment, sometimes breath by breath decision to look beyond the current reality and to cling to something greater.”

It’s an every day, every hour, every minute, every moment, every breath by breath faith that we have. Faith is belief without seeing. And it’s constant. It’s a constant battle against living by the world’s standards and beliefs, or submitting to God and living by His plans and His words.

If we don’t submit, we live in lethargy. We just exist—we don’t live. And we exist numb. We’ll be left sitting in those grays. And who wants that? With all the beauty and joy around us, we should be living in vivid colors.

It's all choosing whether to submit. Exist in gray lethargy, or live in vivid joy.

It's your choice. And it's every breath.

Does that mean that we will succeed at having a breath by breath faith? No. We're sinners who need God--and we cannot do it. But that doesn't mean we cannot try. That doesn't mean we cannot fight for it. I'd rather live and go down fighting, than be lazy and lethargic in the gray. (I've lost count of my analogies by now.)

Only one thing left to say...GO VIVID. ;-)

Before and Afters

I've never participated in any photography thingie (as I shall affectionately call them) but Kristen over at Bringing up Benjamin, posted her Before and After's, and I decided I might as well join in the fun. :-)

SOOC (straight out of camera)

Edited with Adobe Photoshop CS4

The original picture isn't bad, but I loved the edit. Speaking of love, I'd love to see YOUR before and afters, so go on over to Pixel Perfect and link your shots up! :-)

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As a side note, I have a giveaway running, so head over HERE and enter! :)

Here's a FUN giveaway for you...

<br /> <br /> <a href="http://manyrandommusings.blogspot.com/2010/03/heres-fun-giveaway-for-you.html"><img vspace="none" hspace="none" alt="Aspire Blog Button Giveaway" src="http://i617.photobucket.com/albums/tt255/ElvishAuthoress/AspireBlogButtonGiveaway-1.png" /></a>

Giveaway's closed - thanks to all who entered and congrats to the winners!

You ready for a fun giveaway?

Some of you know that I used to make blog buttons for people. I haven't for awhile, because I've been setting up my blog design business (more on that later). But I'm going to give away (sounds so funny) a blog button. Custom made by me. ^_^

But there's a twist...you have to follow my photography blog to enter.

I know, I know...I don't usually do this type of gimmicks. But considering it's only gonna be around for one year, I thought I might as well drum up some hype about it. ;-)

So here's how you enter:

1. Follow my photography blog, 2010 in 2010
2. Leave a comment on THIS post saying that you're following 2010 in 2010. (if you're already following, leave a comment if you want to be entered). MAKE SURE TO LET ME KNOW THAT YOU'RE FOLLOWING 2010 IN 2010 SO I CAN ENTER YOU.

That's it - all that you gotta do. Simple, right? Hee hee...

You can earn an extra entry by...

1. Posting about it on your blog
2. Putting the button on your blog.

- Leave another comment on my blog if you do one or both of the above -

How fun is that? ^_^

The contest lasts from March 16th to the 26th...Happy posting! ;-)

Life's been going fast....swirling around and around...

Slow down, everyone. You're moving too fast. Jack Johnson

Life has been so crazy lately...March always seems that way. It's gross out, as all the snow is melting into a slushy mess, and there seems to be so much to get done. Homework that is unfinished. Rooms that need cleaning. Siblings that need something. Places to go, things to do. Yadda yadda yadda...

And it's been so easy to just get caught in that. When you just get right in the middle of this spinning, spinning, spinning whirlwind that we call craziness...and life.

But that's not how life is always. What happened to sitting around and smelling the roses? What happened to just enjoying life?

Where on earth did our rest go?

We lost our rest. In the midst of chaos and to-do lists. Not that getting things done is bad, but when you only focus on what's next, you miss out on moments like this.



I love how Eli and Sam are nestled in with Momma...

That's why its important to have time to breathe.


And drink coffee. That's always good too. ;-)

There's my equivalent of a post today. Nothing deep or anything. Just breathing room. Sorta. ^_^

EDIT: I was really touched by the comments on my post below--a BIG 'ol hug to all of you! :-)

What do you want to be when you grow up?

This is a question that you have at least heard once in your life. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Usually, if we're young, we answer with a simple, "Oh, I want to be a doctor." or, "I'm going to be policeman." or, "When I grow up, I'm going to be a ballerina." The particularly young sometimes answer with especially innocent answers, such as "I want to be a daddy," or "I want to be a princess."

But as we begin to grow older, the thought of what we want to be often baffles us. When asked the question, we can only respond lamely with, "Oh, I'm not sure yet." Those asking the question will smile and offer some advice, or encouragement, and then we're left alone with the uncertainty of the path ahead, more confused and unsure than before.

Because truthfully, how do we know what we want to be? Can we really count our dreams as the fuel for the future? How can we be sure as to what is the right path to take?

That is the biggest thing. How do we know that what we hope and dream for, and who we want to become - how do we know that that's the right way to go? Are all of our ambitions and wishes to come to naught? Do they really even matter?

Faced with this, we lose all sight of what we could become. "Oh, but I'm not good enough to become this." or "I'll never be able to be like that, so why even try?" When faced with the fear of inadequacy, we balk and shy away from the possible future. If it's an impossible dream, why even hope, much less try?

But how do we know what is impossible? Where is the line between reality and fantasy when it comes to life?

How can we be sure that what we're on is the right track?

When confronting this, we are wishy-washy with decisions. "Maybe I should have done this," we think, or "Was that the right choice?" We doubt our ability to clearly and concisely choose between the right or the wrong. Everything becomes horribly gray, instead of the black and white; gone is the clarity, and in comes blurriness.

We have all faced this at one time or another. The future can be scary--the fear of the unknown cripples people to such a degree that they cannot, and will not, move. Anything new is frightening--anything unknown is to be steered away from.

The many paths that we will take in our lives are like flickering candles. A gust of wind comes and one goes out--the flame cannot live. We are left with the other ones. We are left trying to find which candle to hold, to cherish. Which candle is the one to choose? Which path shall we take? Which road is the right one?

Where are our lives leading us?

We don't know. We won't ever know completely. And that's what scares people. That's what cripples them with fear to such a degree that they are unable to move ahead--to move forward.

But He knows.

Jeremiah 29:11 says:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

For I know the plans I have for you. He knows what He has planned out--He knows. His plans are not to harm you--but to prosper you. They are plans that are given especially to you--uniquely created for you, and your life. They are plans to give you hope. They are plans to give you life. They are plans to give you a future.

God will not abandon you. He will be with you as you learn who you are, and are to be. He will be with you no matter what--He knows the plans for you.

Gone is the fear of the unknown. We can throw off the cloak of uncertainty and embrace the future--embrace what is coming. We have nothing to fear--God knows the plans for our lives. He planned it all out--He has it all ready. We just need to embrace that.

He knows what we will do. He knows where we will go. He knows who we will become.

He knows.

When asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" We can now respond. "I'm going to be who God created me as--who that is, I'm still learning. Maybe I'll be an artist--or perhaps an author. I don't know, but I'm following His path. I will be who I am."

After all, that's the best person to become. ;-)

Ready for some Blog Party Fun--I'm joining up!

Joining Ab's Blog Party--head over to link up, too! :)

1. What's your favorite time of the day, and why?

I LOVE the early morning--when I still have the whole day ahead of me and I'm just enjoying the brisk chill that comes from the dawn. If I'm the only one up, it's quiet, and sooo peaceful.

2. If health wasn't an issue, what food could you live off of?

Lindt truffles. They are one of the best chocolates ever--the blue and black are the best. Literally, they melt in your mouth....mmm...now I'm craving them.

3. If you could have one wish granted (besides wishing for more wishes), what would it be?

One wish--that would be to have a canon rebel xti. I'm longing for a camera--I love my digital, but nothing beats the real thing. ;)

4. What's one thing that you get teased about a lot?

My ability and unrelenting dedication (actually, just my continuation of the so called ability) to call out and name fonts. As well as critiquing them and critiquing the use. I've had many conversations with people telling me to please be quiet, and that they don't care about the font. I'll still hold firm that that was an illegal usage of Rockwell--you NEVER use italics with a font that bold. ^_^

5. If you could choose one movie, book, or TV show to spend your life in, which would you pick? What type of character would you be?

I was originally gonna say Lord of the Rings (HELLO, beautiful!) but then it hit me what that entailed. The elves are all gone, basically. The land is ravaged from Sauron's reign, there might be a few stray orcs...etc...etc...it's too risky. So then, I think I'll go for Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen. Okay, let me clarify, I am NOT a big Jane Austen fan, but I LOVE that era, and the movies are good. Hee hee...;)

6. If you could have one talent that you don't already have, what would it be?

Mmmm...one talent...oh, I'd love to be able to be a ballerina (have you ever noticed how that name sounds SO girly?). I know. I dance ballet. But it's not my natural talent--to be able to dance beautifully...ah...that would be amazing. (btw...what you're seeing above is INCREDIBLY difficult--the left I can't even do, and the right is insanely hard. Doesn't look that way, huh? Pointe kills my toes. 'Nuff said.)

7.If money were no object, where would you go on vacation?

Italy. My mom and dad both learned Italian in college and both want to go there. That longing to be there was passed down to me...*sighs* I'll make it someday--that's right. When I'm famous because of something or other, I'll go there. And then I'll blog about it. ^_^

8. If you were an awesome singer, which genre would you sing?

Oh, Big Band all the way, baby! I LOVE Big Band--some of the best music ever. If I could sing it, I would, believe me. (THAT'S what I'll be famous of--then I'll go to Italy and sing Big Band in Italian! ^_^)

9. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, what would it be?

Best Buy. Laptops, Cameras, Tablets (I'm thinking...?), COMPUTER STUFF GALORE. Mmm...my kind of store.

10. If you could live in any point in time, when would it be?

Any time before now would be without electricity. Can't you just hear that echoing ominously. Noooo....Electriciiiiiiiiiiiiiiity.....Nooooooooooo.....Electriciiiiiiiiiiiiiiity.......
But if I had to get past that, then I'd be in the Pride & Prejudice time. The late 1700s. SUCH a romantic period...providing you were rich.....and I don't think that Big Band would be acceptable there...

11. If every outfit in your wardrobe had to be one color, what would it be?

BLUE. Think jeans. And Cute shirts. I love blue.

12. If you were one of the seven dwarves, which one would you be?
(Doc, Grumpy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Bashful, Happy, or Dopey)

I'm gonna have to say a cross between eccentric Doc and Grumpy. Yes, Grumpy. =P

13. What's the last album you listened to?

Switchfoot's "Hello Hurricane". AH! I LOVE Switchfoot. Your Love is a Song is one of the BEST songs EVER.

14. What's something we'd be surprised to know about you?

Welll....considering I've told you all a lot....I'll throw out a few random things. In case you don't know, I have six younger siblings, I sometimes write poetry, I am a John Howe art lover, I LOVE music, and I am double-jointed in my right toes. Hm? Yes. I know. Call me odd. I had a doctor call me "a classic".

I guess I'm a classic. ;)

That was fun! Head over and link up! :)